This note may or may not come
as a surprise to you. I've very much debated whether to make this one of
those "facebook" statuses or whether I should just call people in
person. In the end I've decided that this is a much quicker and easier
way to go. Please don't read this as a call for attention or anything
more than just an update on my health.
So here goes:
THE PAST:
I was born with Alpha 1
antitrypsin deficiency (A-1) in my liver. Basically what this means is
that my liver is missing an enzyme; the enzyme which helps protect the liver
and lungs against infections and other bad things from happening. A-1 can
have a wide range of effects and severity. For most of my life I didn't
feel that many affects other than reduced lung capacity and shorter endurance
during physical activity. So at age 18 I was told that I could
either continue getting a routine check up or to just stop coming. For
some reason that I question now in hindsight, I decided on the latter. I
figured in 18 years it hadn't affected my life that much and the doctors did
not really show much concern.
So I continued to live my life
as normal. I of course had to stay away from smoking (which is fine
anyhow) and excessive drinking of alcohol (which is did mostly).
Things were going well and I
didn't really think twice about my A-1.
THE BEGINNING OF THE PROBLEM
After moving to Ontario this
past summer, I started to experience some health discomforts which I chalked up
to indigestion and possibly stomach issues. So I went to go see a doctor
about it. After taking an ultrasound, he discovered that my liver was
quite enlarged and that there was some major fluid build up around the liver.
He told me to go straight to ER so I could start down the path of seeing
a Gastroenterologist (someone who specializes in internal organs such as
stomach, intestines, livers, etc). They did a bunch of tests and the
result was something that I never I'd hear at age 34.... Cirrhosis.
For those unaware, this means that your liver walls are breaking down and
they are irreparable. I've always thought this diagnosis was reserved
for older people or alcoholics and the like. But after ruling out all
other possible causes, the doctor said that mine is a direct link to my A-1
Deficiency. So he put me on a strict low salt diet and said that the
best possible route will be........ TRANSPLANT. Now after
getting over those words, and being reassured that it is the best possible path
for someone my age who's cirrhosis is a direct cause of A-1, Grace's support,
and especially receiving the peace that only comes from knowing that ALL things
are in The Lord's hands, I was ready to wait to see where this
road would lead both myself and Grace.
A NEW HICCUP
I am currently writing this
update from my hospital room which I was admitted to on Tuesday night.
Why am I here you might ask? Good question! Over the past 2
weeks my symptoms have been getting progressively worse; especially my energy
level and my lung capacity. My lung capacity was so restricted that I
would get out of breath simply walking down a hall at a normal rate. So
after being stubborn for 2 weeks, I took the advice of the nurse's hotline who
told me to go to ER. And am I ever glad I did. The doctors drained
some fluid from me which has expanded my lung capacity by a noticeable margin.
I also feel more energetic at times than before. So why am I still
here? The doctors have discovered that I had a nasty infection in the
fluid in my abdomen area (around the liver) which was throwing everything out
of wack. The issue now is that know what family (category) of infection
it is in, but not which specific bug it is. So I"m receiving
anti-biotics (general) and they are trying to isolate the specific bug so they
can attack that. So here I wait, unsure when I'm going to be released.
THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE
The discovery of the infection
and the spike in symptom increases MAY mean that the need for transplant will
be sooner than later than expected. Nothing is for sure yet and I
haven't even met with the transplant team yet. This may or may not
affect my teaching load this year.... it may or may not even affect Grace and
my wedding. The simple truth is right now is that we don't know and, as
hard as it can be at times, we are really just relying on the Lord and his
timing. He knows what's best. So this is where I covet your
prayers... not just for me but also for Grace who has shown my such love,
compassion and understanding in the past few months during this journey.
Also for my mom and family and friends who are not living close by.
THE IMPORTANT PART: WHAT
THIS HAS TAUGHT ME SO FAR
There are soooooo many
applicable Bible verses and psalms that run through my head during a time like
this. As easy as it is acknowledge intellectually that the Lord is close
at all times, you definitely feel his strong and loving care during times like
these. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through this without
the knowledge of God's providence or covenantal love for his children.
There would only be worries and no peace. The peace that passes all
logical understanding truly is given by God.
Speaking of God's providence,
it is amazing when you can step back and look at his plans and timing. As
I mentioned earlier in this note, there is no way I would be going through this
as well as I have been with the support of a woman who loves me despite my
health concerns. She has shown me a strength that I didn't know could exist and
I'm thankful every day to the Lord for her. There is definitely a reason
why the Lord allowed all this to happen this year when I'm engaged and in the
same area as my fiancee rather than last when I was living in Edmonton with
only skype and cell phone to allow me to communicate with Grace.
On a purely practical side, I
believe that God allowed this to happen this year when I moved to Southern
Ontario simply because some of the best liver doctors and transplant teams are
here in the are. The doctors and nurses with whom I've been in contact with
over the past few months have been very pleasant and helpful.
So there you go.... It feels to
get this out to everyone I know. As I said, please don't read anything
more into this than just an update and a call for prayers.
I will try to update this when
I feel it necessary. Thank you for reading, and your love and support and
mostly for your prayers.
I will continue to take comfort
in the words of our Heidelberg Catechism which reminds us that "Without
His will, not a hair can fall from my head." Praise the Lord who
knows our struggles and needs better than we do!
p.s. Please ignore any spelling
or grammar mistakes as I am writing this at 6:00 a.m. in the morning.... silly
hospital beds are just so uncomfortable. :)
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